JenniI’m a few weeks into re-familiarizing myself with image-making, and it feels like falling in love with photography for the first time. As I reacquaint myself, I am acutely aware of how at ease I am, marveling at the mysterious workings of my own technical and creative muscle memory.
At this stage of my creative journey, I expect that finding my footing in my personal workflow and image production will be quite messy and imperfect. Returning from a long hiatus of creative projects, particularly in image-making, I find myself in a naturally different place. There is a strange awkwardness in trying to reestablish familiarity and connection with myself artistically. I’m looking deeper within and asking nuanced questions of purpose and intention. An entire year away from creative work has filled my life with new perspectives and experiences, shaping and informing my work as I move forward.
Currently, my focus is on accomplishing levels of internal work that go unwitnessed. This work produces nothing material; thoughts and ideas are still intangible. However, I recognize that growth is happening as I witness my own progression. This process requires silence, quiet contemplation, and honest acknowledgment of my limitations. Any creative accomplishments external to this inner process won’t help—it is withdrawn and solitary.
One tangible evidence of progress has been commandeering a spare room to carve out a working studio. This space signifies a full commitment to a creative pursuit that will be a lifelong passion. A dedicated creative space allows me the intentional room to grow.
I have always experienced an inner freedom to do the work away from others’ eyes. Admitting this openly has always been a bit intimidating. I do my best work independently, solitarily, and in contemplative silence. I trust my inner process and welcome critique when I’m ready.
In earlier iterations of my creative journey, I discovered photography within a community. Perhaps this is why I have often felt guilty for having an innate desire to work on my own. Unfortunately, the community didn’t always serve me well. Although I am extremely grateful for the members who became teachers, I don’t miss the divisive competitiveness and self-important egos.
As I progress, I remain discerning of myself and the work I produce. Throughout the initial stages of my creative process, making time to contemplate, reflect, and see clearly with a critical eye is key. Interiorly, I sense change at work. I feel I’m being carved into someone new. The inner and outer shapes have not yet fully formed but are in a process of change. Sharper tools have begun to chisel away as the work progresses.
The Next Steps
Looking ahead, I am filled with anticipation for the next steps in my creative journey. The messiness and imperfections of this stage are not setbacks but essential parts of growth and self-discovery. Embracing this process, I remain committed to my passion for photography, knowing that each challenge and reflection brings me closer to my true artistic voice. As I continue to carve out my path, both literally and metaphorically, I look forward to the evolution of my work and the endless possibilities that lie ahead.
